What you have to understand is that my morning starts off after a mostly sleepless night of indigestion and vomiting. Not a good start to any day. But, it gets worse and I am emotionally unprepared.
We leave Alon Shvut at 9 am, leaving Maya and Avital with a friend's fourteen year old daughter to babysit (as a favor, she refuses to take money from us). We begin the very curvy and long road trip to Beer Sheva and within minutes I am already sobbing just because of my pounding headache (no coffee yet) and turning stomach. We're not even there yet.
We have left the girls for the morning because our mission is not very kid-friendly. We have to visit the Beer Sheva offices of Bituach Leumi, national health insurance. We know from experience that these types of appointments can be long and crowded so best not to bring the kids along if possible. We arrive at the office and it is packed with hundreds of people (the only point of reference an American might possibly have for a scene like this is the DMV on the worst possible day of the year). Like in all Israeli offices (and American bakeries), we take a number and sit and wait.
The reasons that we are at Bituach Leumi are both simple and urgent. The simple part is that we need to get into the system so that we can begin to receive medical treatment and services like all Israelis. The urgency is that I would like to see a doctor sooner than later since I am 7 months pregnant and it is going on 2 months since I have had any prenatal care.
But, despite the urgency, it is not simple. If we were straight up Olim Chadashim (new citizens), this would all be easier. But, our official status is that of "Toshavim Chozrim" or "returning citizens." Bituah Leumi is suspect of Toshavim Chozrim because apparently there have been cases of Israeli citizens living abroad who come back to Israel, not to live permanently but to take advantage of the benefits of socialized medicine that the country provides (for example, two free IVF treatments). So, to discourage this practice, Bituach Leumi now charges a significant fine and/or a waiting period for returning citizens to receive medical services.
Back to me and my day. We think that we are prepared for this meeting. We have already paid the monetary fine through the internet. We have spoken to representatives of Bituach Leumi numerous times on the telephone and they have explained that we need to go to the office and fill out forms to declare that we are "toshhavim chozrim." But, when they finally call our number "165," we learn that - whoops - the people we have spoken to forgot to mention that we would also need photocopies of:
1) Rental contract
2) Israeli and American passports
3) Proof of Israel bank account
4) Proof of being a student at Ben Gurion
5) Registration papers for the girls' schools
6) Receipt of Shipment from America
See, they need all this to PROVE that we are not just coming into the country to take advantage of their great free medical services but that we are actually returning on a permanent basis, for real. We actually have all of these documents but by the time we compile and copy them, we will not be back in Alon Shvut by 2 pm when we promised the babysitter we would return (thinking that two hours would be plenty of time at Bituach Leumi, silly us).
So, we leave, unsuccessful. We will have to return on Tuesday (the only other day of the week that such requests can be processed) at 8:00 am (with kids in tow).
We quickly drive over to our apartment to unload the suitcases that we have been keeping in Alon Shvut. It is now noon and I am starving. I open our brand new fridge which Andy stocked a few days before. I immediately realize what is wrong. When we walked out of the apartment on Friday for the weekend, Andy shut the electricity to ensure that he had shut all of the lights and air conditioner and...refrigerator. Yup, the fridge had been off all weekend and all of its contents spoiled.
I am freaking out. I am yelling and crying.
But, then, the painter walks into the apartment. The painter who is scheduled to come at 4:30 is here at 12:30. Of course, Andy (Mr. Rose-colored glasses) thinks that it is great that he is early. I, however, think that it is annoying and strange and unprofessional.
When we call the babysitter from the car on our way back to Alon Shvut, we learn that she has already left and that the girls are with her younger brother, watching a movie (Alon Shvut style). I feel desperate to get back to them, not because I am worried for their well-being but because I feel like I have dumped them on friends and am uncomfortable with the burdens and impositions that we have been putting on them.
But, with just 15 minutes of approaching the yihuv, we find ourselves at a standstill. There is construction and they are not letting cars through. Someone is playing an evil evil trick on me. Thankfully, we call my friend Jorge who picks the girls up while we sit in the car, waiting to move.
There are other things that happened today but the bottom line is that it was a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.
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